My name is James Whitaker. I'm 28. I have been traveling around the world since November 2006. I run my internet business from my laptop. My friends think I'm crazy. I think it's crazy to sit a cubicle for more than 5 minutes in a single lifetime. These are my adventures.
August 19, 2008
Kicking it with the Pakzad boys…
Kicking it with the Pakzad boys…
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bpak: Me and Dub kicking it… B-Pak is so good at Magnum….

bpak:

Me and Dub kicking it…

B-Pak is so good at Magnum….
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What All Chinese Fortune Cookies Should Say.

You are about to take a dump in 10 minutes.

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I saw this on College Humor and laughed for like 3 minutes without stopping. I thought at 29 this kind of shit wouldn’t be funny anymore…

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Cougar Town USA

Today is another coffee shop office day. Of course I’m using it to do half work and half anthropology on the Walnut Creek folk. After sitting here for 30 mins, I am totally re-convinced, as everybody always says, that WC should be renamed Coungar-Town USA. I have never seen a town with hotter moms walking around. The 30-40 year olf milf scene here is out of control. It’s full Desperate Housewives. They click around in their heels, fake tits, handbags, and sunglasses like Queens of Egypt, oblivious to anything but their hair appointments. I serioulsy love every one that walks by.
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AA ads are so naughty. Peter sent me this gem. I like business that isnt afraid to push the envelope a bit…
AA ads are so naughty. Peter sent me this gem. I like business that isnt afraid to push the envelope a bit…
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August 16, 2008
“ You will be the same five years from now as you are today, except for two things: the people you meet, and the books you read.
Charlie Jones
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Is Shot Put A Sport??

For real. The dudes are all fatty’s, harldy athletes, and they just do one thing, which is neanderthal a cannon ball as far as possible. Seems like a hoplessly anachronistic holdover from some primitive way to pass time.
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August 12, 2008
Doing shit is better than not, always. kareem:

Doing shit is better than not, always.

kareem:

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August 11, 2008

Overheard at Redding, Ca McDonalds 5 minutes ago

  • Two hundred pound woman in cut offs and Nike T-Shirt, into cell phone: Yeah...I've been doing the JC part time...for a long time.....when I graduate in 3 years I want to be a probation officer.
  • Her deadpanning 8 year old son with a fro-hawk: Unless you're on probabtion, then there might be a problem..
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Oregon Trip..part 1

Driving by yourself to Oregon is a great adventure. I made it in one piece except for one wrong turn which put me an hour off track. I had to make up time by taking a little country lane down into a green valley between two mountain ranges, which was actually a very pretty drive. So pretty in fact, that I thought I had passed into Narnia for just a second with all the little cricks and cottages and pastures. The mood was literally squished when I murdered a chipmunk on accident though. Little shit just ran in front of the car and stood up on his haunches and looked and me wiggling his nose. Next thing I know, there is the smallest of bumps and I see a little ball of ground beef in the rear view.  I stopped for the night in Redding and got myself a little motel because the sign said free internet. I asked if they had WIFI and the lady told me she didn’t even have a TV, and that she just gives everyone who asked for internet this cable thing.  So I checked my email and did some work sitting Indian style 18 inches from the wall and then fell asleep to the Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Later the next day, I found myself in amongst a long chain of biker dudes and their wenches. I did some anthropology on them and discovered that there is definitely a social structure to their riding configuration. Like birds on migration, there is form and function to their riding. From as far as I could tell, the King biker gets to ride in the pole, breaking the wind with his mustache. Behind him are the elder statesmen, who alternate left and right in the road, maybe so that at nighttime, they look like a real car, with one light one each side of the lane.  Then, in the middle are the fully fledged younger members with the guys without full back patches riding in the rear with me.

I also realized that there is nothing a man may need in this world that is not for sale at an Oregon gas station. You need some decorative Elvis plates for your trailer home, got it. Maybe some replacement fuses for your CB or a home entertainment center for your RV, got those too. It’s unreal.

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August 9, 2008
EDWARDS IS A RETARD Sometimes I used to wonder if Edwards really existed. I thought he was a poorly drawn caricature of himself. Everything from the twang to the hair and the thumb point was too cartoon for him to be taken seriously. At some point the character would break and some actor with a NY accent would say, ” i cant do this shit anymore”. So if anyone was surprised at this affair shit today, they are as lame as he is. I can’t explain why it makes me feel good about the universe to see a bullshit artist get called out. Maybe it’s just imagining that at the same time Edwards was getting weepy at the podium, pointing his thumb at us, and railing against anything that betrayed his own private ethic, he was fucking around behind his cancer patient wifes back. If a man lies to his wife, he’ll lie to anybody.

EDWARDS IS A RETARD

Sometimes I used to wonder if Edwards really existed. I thought he was a poorly drawn caricature of himself. Everything from the twang to the hair and the thumb point was too cartoon for him to be taken seriously. At some point the character would break and some actor with a NY accent would say, ” i cant do this shit anymore”. So if anyone was surprised at this affair shit today, they are as lame as he is. I can’t explain why it makes me feel good about the universe to see a bullshit artist get called out. Maybe it’s just imagining that at the same time Edwards was getting weepy at the podium, pointing his thumb at us, and railing against anything that betrayed his own private ethic, he was fucking around behind his cancer patient wifes back. If a man lies to his wife, he’ll lie to anybody.

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August 8, 2008
So my dad has been up in ass crack Oregon with my sister all week. About 15 years ago he decided that no closer camping would suffice, so every year he trucks it up there for 10 days in the woods. I am not a very good camper. I get sand in my ass, become skeeter meat, and generally complain for the entire time like a 12 year old. I usually spend about 16 hours a day horizontal, reading trash novels in the hammock with my best annoyed face on. But I secretly do enjoy it a little bit. And furthermore, I’ve been gone for so long that I think it would be dick to not go up for a few days. My dad really enjoys having the chilluns under his domain, and no one is more master of his domain than my pops in the wilderness. So I’m driving my ass up to Oregon for 3 days all by myself. I’m treating myself good though, and have outfitted the 4 Runner with a plethora of snacks to sit shotgun. I’ve got my mapblast printed out, and a healthy dose of County on the I pod, lest I get into a patch of bad reception. I’m not even taking a tent. I’ll jsut make a little pillow nest in the back of my car. With the back seats folded up, its like a Queen back there! Anyway, If I’m not back in 3 days; or my poor ol’ DNA is found in some decrepit little deer track, mixed with moose shit and mold; then fear not! I’ll have just taken a wrong turn into some Oreganian backwater and starved to death in utter misery. Give my half of DubCorp to StephTam. No for real. This drive is gonna suck. But I have never been one to shirk off an adventure. See you never!!

So my dad has been up in ass crack Oregon with my sister all week. About 15 years ago he decided that no closer camping would suffice, so every year he trucks it up there for 10 days in the woods. I am not a very good camper. I get sand in my ass, become skeeter meat, and generally complain for the entire time like a 12 year old. I usually spend about 16 hours a day horizontal, reading trash novels in the hammock with my best annoyed face on.

But I secretly do enjoy it a little bit. And furthermore, I’ve been gone for so long that I think it would be dick to not go up for a few days. My dad really enjoys having the chilluns under his domain, and no one is more master of his domain than my pops in the wilderness. So I’m driving my ass up to Oregon for 3 days all by myself. I’m treating myself good though, and have outfitted the 4 Runner with a plethora of snacks to sit shotgun. I’ve got my mapblast printed out, and a healthy dose of County on the I pod, lest I get into a patch of bad reception. I’m not even taking a tent. I’ll jsut make a little pillow nest in the back of my car. With the back seats folded up, its like a Queen back there!

Anyway, If I’m not back in 3 days; or my poor ol’ DNA is found in some decrepit little deer track, mixed with moose shit and mold; then fear not! I’ll have just taken a wrong turn into some Oreganian backwater and starved to death in utter misery. Give my half of DubCorp to StephTam.

No for real. This drive is gonna suck. But I have never been one to shirk off an adventure. See you never!!

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What I Learned about Persuasion while Buying a Rug in Turkey

I love these sales stories. They remind me of my old Southwestern bookselling days back in Wisconsin and Minnesota. We sold those Betty’s so many damn books with little more than a smirk and a smile. Looking back, what a great adventure it was. Everybody should sell books door to door for one summer.

(via kareem)

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“ Don’t do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.
Henry Rollins (via allisonweiss) (via blakeley) (via soupsoup) (via unicornology) (via sleepanddream)
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“ A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.
Bob Dylan (via onherway) (via unicornology)
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